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Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Rememberance Month

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. October 15th is the Awareness day. I just wanted to spread this out to those who read my blog. Please keep those precious babies in your thoughts and prayers this month. Light a candle for them on the 15th. If you know someone who has lost a child due to Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Infant loss please let them know you care. Remember they want their child recognized as someone worth remembering. Send them an email or card...show you care!
February 3rd 2003, I gave birth to twin boys. Landon was born first weighing 5lbs 12oz and 19inches long. He was a tiny little thing but healthy! About 10mins later his twin brother Baylin was born weighing 3lbs 15oz. Baylin was stillborn. He looked just like Landon just smaller. I layed there in bed and held Baylin in my arms. He didn't look completely normal so I was scared. His head was abnormally shaped. I remember staring at his cheek and left ear. I stroked his cheek with my index finger. I was to scared to open the blanket and look at his body. I don't know why but I was scared of what I would see. I was to scared to kiss him (I will regret that for the rest of my life). He was just so tiny and pitiful. We were all so scared and numb that no one thought to take a picture (another regret). I don't have a single thing to remember him by not even an outfit (he was cremated in it). If I could go back in time I'd do a lot of things differently. But at that time we couldn't see past that moment. I will never forget Baylin David. Everyday when I look at Landon, my crazy 5yr old boy I see his twin in him and I know that he's still with us.
November 1st 2004, My younger Sister Neely went into Labor. Around 6am in the morning she gave birth to a beautiful BIG baby Girl Oleyen Hannah. Shortly after she came out it was found that she wasn't able to breath on her own. She was taken away to the Nicu and put on a ventilator. Many tests were done and we were told that Oleyen had a Diaphramatic Hernia. This means she had a hole in her diaphram and her organs were moved up inside it and she would have to have surgery. From exrays it appeared that her organs hadn't formed properly due to this condition so there was a fear of her NOT getting better even after the surgery. She was transfered to DC hospital for better care. My sister and her husband went to DC to be with my niece. Oleyen was put on Ecmo to help her body heal, this machine was doing everything for her. We all took turns going to DC to visit with Oleyen and her parents. I remember walking into that Nicu and looking at my precious neiece laying on that bed with tons of tubes coming out of her. She was a big baby weighing 8lbs 13oz. She had strawberry blonde hair and the prettiest eyes.
On day 19 of Oleyens life she was scheduled for her surgery. She was taken into the operating room but before the surgery started she began to hemmorage in her stomach. There was no saving her, there was no fixing her. My sister and her husband had allow them to turn the machines off. Oleyen died on November 19th 2004. My sister learned from my mistakes and took tons of pictures, she got clothes, stuffed animals, plaster molds of her hands and feet. I am so happy that she has all of these things. She has a cabinet in her house filled with Oleyen things it's amazing!
Oleyen touched so many of us and she will NEVER be forgotten!
These are my stories. Its interesting that once you join the club of having a story you find that so many around you have them as well. So many poeple lost a child in one way or another...but not many people talk about it.
Please share your story if you care to. Let's remember our Angels!
"Forever Remembered, Forever Missed".


Polly said...

Everytime I hear these stories I tear up a little.